When is the RIGHT TIME for a man to visit his gf's family

Someone wrote me and told me that she's been dating this particular guy for more than 4years and he doesn't even know where she stays, she told me that he's never been to her place and anytime she brought it up,  he's always procrastinating. She further went on to tell me that her family knows him cos she's told them everything about him, they're just waiting for him to show up lol. She  also said she's told the guy that her family members are just waiting to see this guy that she's been talking about...(lol, I feel like this may be the actual reason why he's yet to go visit her family, maybe he just doesn't want to man up and do the right thing yet). After she told me all these, I'm like, "gurrrrrrl, what in the world are you still doing with this guy? Isn't it obvious that he clearly doesn't want to settle down soon or with you. I just don't get how y'all been dating for that long with the intention of settling down and he's yet to meet your family" I further went on to tell her that she better not put all her hopes in this guy...there's no time to be casting all your eggs in one basket. A guy would just pin you down in the  name of marriage and still won't do the needful...and this is one of the main reasons why we have increasing numbers of young baby-mothers neglected by their supposed to be husbands.

So, when do you think is the right time for a guy to visit the girl's family? Coming from an African background, I think this is really a big deal. Why do I say so? This is cos in the westernized countries, it's normal for two people dating to meet each others families, they don't see it as a big deal but this is so different in Africa, Nigeria for example... when the guy decides to visit the girl's family or to take the girl to his family home to see his people, it's actually another way of letting the girl's family know that he's interested in spending the rest of his life with her (or letting his family know that he's seen the right woman for him in case of the guy taking the girl to his family) hence, it's a huge step.

However, when do we think it's the right time? To me, there's no right time, after all people get married in less than 5months after meeting each other and are still 'living happily ever after'...lol.  I  however do think that if you as a girl has dated a guy for up-to 1yr, then your guy should want to meet your family except you don't want him to(maybe cos you think it's a little too fast or you just don't have the intentions of settling down with him/you dont think it's going to work out or you feel he's got a lot of issues he needs to work on or maybe you think he may not be accepted by your parents just yet...otherwise, I don't see any other reasons)

Hold up!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that any guy you're dating who finally ends up meeting your family(parents in particular) would eventually be your husband. NO!! All I'm saying is that a guy who's responsible and with true intentions should at least make an effort to get to know your family especially after y'all have been together for at least 1yr. He should at least ask you when you would want  him to see your parents...you know, make efforts! Let it be that you being the girl is the reason he's yet to meet your family cos of the above reasons mentioned previously. I can't imagine dating someone for more than 4yrs and he hasn't met anyone in my family...it just seems so abnormal to me.  I remember when I was younger and all these guys who wouldn't stop pestering me, I always chased them away by telling them to come and meet my parents or my pastor lmao. I would even tell them how glad my dad is to meet them(this was because  they always came talking about marriage with *the thought* that every girl wanted to marry or would take them serious since they mentioned marriage). Guess what, they would get scared and gradually withdraw(why?? because their intentions weren't pure and don't want to get hooked, they obviously just wanted something else)...I was about 15/16yrs at that time and these guys would think I'm just any other naive 16yr old girl but this trick usually worked lol.

Conclusion;

• I would like to end this by letting you beautiful ladies out there, know that a guy getting to meet your family(parents in particular) is not a 100% guarantee that he's serious with you. He may even be meeting 3 other girls' parents as well. I think they've come to realize that most girls would take them more serious and put their lives on hold if they've finally met their parents(never knew guys could be so smart lol). I mean, come to think of it, most guys have this mentality. This is why you have to involve God into your relationship. Pray, ask God for wisdom and spirit of discernment. You just can't be 100% sure of the right one on your own, but when you make God your master planner...guuurrrllll....he'll grant you your desires and give you the best. 
• This goes both ways though but in this topic...I'm more concerned with the guys...

Hope you enjoyed your scroll through this post...until next time, see you soon!

MARITAL RAPE; is it possible for a spouse to be raped while married?

Hello everyone...yes, it's me. I've been gone for a few weeks, okay I lied..a few months...emmmh, maybe a little bit over a year now. Yes over a year now😟.....what happened? I had to pause blogging cos I just couldn't keep up with school workload 😥 but thank God I'm on break now....let me hear you say YAAAAASSS!!!( lol, don't tell me you actually *yas'd)

So, what will we be talking about today..marital-spousal rape..this particular topic seems weird to me cos I'm not married and I know *most people would be like..."what does she know"...and I'll reply *most people saying, "a whole lot!"....lol, just kidding(no, I'm serious!). I didn't come up with this topic though, I asked people on my Facebook page to tell me a topic they would want me to blog about and this happened to be one of the topics..shout-out to Agbo Richard for coming up with this topic

What is RAPE? 

According to Wikipedia, "Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent"

There are over 10 types of rape which includes date rape, child rape, gang rape, spousal/marital rape, to name a few. Today we're interested in Marital-spousal rape....emmh marital rape? Is that even possible? We will see...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MARITAL RAPE?

I will be using marital and spousal rape interchangeably, they both mean same thing.

Is it possible that you can be raped by your spouse while married? Weird yeah? I know...thought the same and I actually had a live video chat(on my instagram page) where I asked people if they think something like this exist and it seemed a bit surprising the responses I got(I screenshot some interesting ones, I uploaded a few). I also got to find out that most guys were opposing the notion as regards *marital rape...in contrast to the girls.  It seems it's mainly the women that have a better understanding when it comes to such sensitive topics or, maybe it's just cos they experience this the most...not surprising though.
Below are some of the screenshots...

What is MARITAL-SPOUSAL RAPE?

According to Wikipedia, "Marital rape (or spousal rape) is the act of sexual intercourse with one's spouse without the consent of the other spouse. It is a form of domestic violence and sexual abuse. Although it was once widely unrecognized by law and society as wrong or as a crime, it is now recognized as rape by many societies around the world..."
Below, some of my followers answered,

He further went on to state why most abused individuals may find it difficult to speak out

I know rape is not one sided but in this case, marital rape is mainly experienced by women but not exclusively. Coming from African background, most guys I asked a few questions concerning this topic seemed to believe it's impossible for a hubby to rape wifey since he already paid *bride-price(money or any other thing such as properties etc paid by groom and his family to the woman's family that he's about to be married to or may even have married her before payment...the former is more common)...they seem to have the mentality that since you already paid for her to be your wife then whatever you do to her isn't wrong especially when it comes to s*x...after all she's your wife!  Too bad, I know.

Could this be real, do people actually do this, what may be the reason behind marital rape?

To me...I didn't need to bring in bible or read about this to know that something like marital rape exist...nothing surprises me these days. I also didn't need Wiki to let me know it's a form of sexual/domestic abuse. I don't even know why a man would deem it fit to do that to his wife after hitting and verbally abusing her...according to my own personal research(lol...emmh, * research sounds deep though but this seems to be the most suitable word for me to use in this context), back to what I was saying, my findings show that most marital rape occurs after or during domestic abuse.

Well, this is just my own opinion, most people don't believe that marital rape exist and most women are too timid to even speak out(I would be too if I were married, I mean..how do I come to tell people I get beat up by my hubby, someone that is actually meant to protect me from harm..now to cap it up, to tell them I also get raped by him...damn!!! My parents would or may think I'm crazy. I do think my friends would reason with me cos they're sensible enough lol...but what about others? what about the church people/the 'holier than thous'/relatives?) I also think most women don't voice out what they go through(or had been through) cos they will be made jest of...with this modern computer age, the abused will so be roasted on all social media apps. She would wish she never said a word...and THIS is why most women die in silence.
 I guess the rising mortality due to domestic violence is starting to have a huge  impact all around the world. I'm happy most women are coming out now, I'm also grateful for the various organizations that have been set up to make the lives of the affected women better and give them a platform&voice to reach out to other timid/naive ones out there.

But what is the reason behind this? 

We've heard so many excuses from rapists saying they were tempted because of the appearance of the abused or that they happened to be at the wrong place or that the devil decided to use them on that fateful day or that whatever the flimsy excuses may be. But what excuse has a husband for raping the wife? Isn't coitus supposed to be part of marriage? Yes, but we ain't talking about a consensual act. Like I stated above, this disgusting act usually occurs before, during or after a domestic violence. I don't know what may be the reason behind it, I've no idea what may be in the man's mind. 

Well before I end this wonderful piece, I would also want to plead with men&women to please desist from hitting their partners, if you both can't talk it out then  go your separate ways...domestic violence is NEVER the answer and it instills fear in the abused...In my honest opinion, I don't think your partner is meant to be scared/afraid of you in a relationship...this doesn't equal RESPECT if that's what you culprits think.
   Finally, do you still think that marital rape is NOT real? Oh well, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink...that you believe it or not still won't change it from being the truth or that it exist.

Thanks for reading...